The Rockford Files
[to hood who has just kidnapped him]
Jim Rockford: "Does your mother know what you do for a living?"
Jim Rockford: "Freeze, turkey!"
Jim Rockford: "What's wrong?"
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: "I am THROUGH talking to you! Look at you, an inch or two to the right and you'd be missing that eye!"
Jim Rockford: "Yeah, but look at it this way, an inch or two to the left and he'd have missed me completely."
Jim Rockford: "Hey, I'm sorry Dad, you just caught me at a bad time. Reading that detective fiction doesn't help. I mean things aren't like that you know? They're not black and white. They're aren't any heroes left, they die young."
[pointing to a book cover]
Jim Rockford: "His gun is deadly? Mine's in a cookie jar."
[Rockford knocks out a thug with one punch]
Jim Rockford: "Ow! If I could do that without a roll of quarters in my hand, I'd be a terror."
Security Guard: "Can I see you security passes?"
Richie Brockelman: "Sure!"
Jim Rockford: "No!"
[punches security guard]
Beth Davenport: "And Jim, try to be nice."
Jim Rockford: "Are you kidding? You don't mouth off to anything that big. He looks like 190 pounds of gristle."
Jim Rockford: "Why didn't you get me 'Little Eddie' or 'The Greek?'"
Angel Martin: "They said they wouldn't do it. They said the last time they were in a con with you, it blew sky high. What does he mean by calling me a halibut?"
Jim Rockford: "It's a fish that swims at the bottom."
Angel Martin: "I don't like him."
Jim Rockford: "But I will need a diversion, so I can get back to Bloomberg's room and try to talk to him."
Angel Martin: "Ohh. Now we getting to the nitty-gritty. Now it's beginning to make sense. 'Come on over to Rocky's, Angel.' Serve my favorite food. First time I been invited over here for so much as a glass of water."
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: "I could use a little help in the kitchen with the coffee and dessert."
Angel Martin: "Forget about the dessert, you don't buy Angel Martin with a couple of drumsticks and some redeye gravy."
Dennis Becker: "Step back Jim. This is information is for police department personnel only."
Jim Rockford: "Boy, mention the Nazis around you and it rubs off."
Teasdale: "I am a good judge of people. And that is a fine young man, with a remarkable character."
Jim Rockford: "No doubt about it, Lance is perfect. It's his only flaw."
Lance White: "I hate it when anybody dies. Even someone like Blackwood. I'm sure he wasn't a bad guy at heart probably."
Jim Rockford: "Oh yeah, you throw out the cocaine busts and what, a little pushing around the high schools and what have you got left? Just a sweet guy with a problem."
Jim Rockford: "A senator and a bus driver? What's the connection?"
Lance White: "This is just a hunch but I'd say the bus driver had something on the senator. Like maybe the senator was having an affair with the bus driver's wife."
Jim Rockford: "Lance, where did that come from?"
Lance White: "It didn't come from anywhere Jim it's just a hunch. I get a hunch, it turns out to be right and the case is solved. I don't know how you make a living as a private eye Jim. You don't seem to know any of this stuff."
Karen Hall: "You met up with the Surete, they actually followed me. That's why I had that horrible feeling I was being watched. And they're the ones who ransacked my room."
Jim Rockford: "Oh no, not nearly so simple. Your room was ransacked by an Olympic wrestling champion and a German ex-neurosurgeon."
Karen Hall: "What? Who are they?"
Jim Rockford : "That's multiple choice. They're were either two former members of Wermacht Intelligence, two old friends of your father's or two cops from East Berlin."
Jim Rockford: "Yeah, well we got snarled up in a case in August. I ended up doing 90 days on a county honor farm."
Lance White: "Well, I'm sorry about that Jim but I had my client's interests to protect and you did break into that hotel room."
Jim Rockford: "What client? Who where you working for? Nobody seemed to know."
Lance White: "Well, that was kind of a strange one, those 3 little boys hired me."
Jim Rockford: "The triplets? They were only 8 years old."
Lance White: "Yeah well when their folks were killed by the mob, I kind of took 'em in. Finally, I made arrangements for them to live on a friend's farm in Vermont."
Jim Rockford: "Isn't that nice? A happy ending. We all got to go to a farm."
Marcus Hayes: "You have a hair-trigger, Mr.Finch."
Gandolph Finch: "That's right, mouth... and you're sitting on the edge of a big disaster."
Marcus Hayes: "I like him Jimmy. He's got pluck."
Electric Larry: "Harry, the soda machine at the bar is busted again."
Harry Smick: "It was fixed last week."
Electric Larry: "Tell that to the customer drinking scotch and air."