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[opening narration]
Capt. Kirk: "Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its 5-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before."

Capt. Kirk: "A dream that became a reality and spread throughout the stars."

Capt. Kirk: "Those of you who have served for long on this vessel have encountered alien life-forms. You know the greatest danger facing us is ourselves, and irrational fear of the unknown. But there's no such thing as 'the unknown,' only things temporarily hidden, temporarily not understood."

Capt. Kirk: "There seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere..."

Capt. Kirk: "This is a mystery, and I don't like mysteries. They give me a bellyache, and I've got a beauty right now."

Capt. Kirk: "We may go in the biggest explosion in those parts since the last star exploded, but we've got to take that one in ten thousand chance."

[in a room alone, talking to the ceiling]
Capt. Kirk: "Never lose you. Never."

Capt. Kirk: "Mr. Spock... you're not going to admit for the first time in your life you made a completely emotional decision based on desperation?"
Spock: "No, sir."
Capt. Kirk: "You are a very stubborn man, Mr. Spock."
Spock: "Yes, sir."

Spock: "Congratulations on a dazzling display of logic."
Capt. Kirk: "Didn't think I had it in me, did you?"
Spock : "No."

Capt. Kirk: "You were actually enjoying that predicament back there. At times you seem quite human."
Spock: "Captain, I hardly believe that insults are in your line as my commanding officer."

Capt. Kirk: "Mr. Spock, you'd make a wonderful computer."
[taken aback]
Spock: "That is *very* kind of you sir."

Capt. Kirk: "Spock, the women on your planet are logical. No other planet in the galaxy can make that claim."

Spock: "Sir, there is a multi-legged creature crawling on your shoulder."

Spock: "'Fascinating' is a word I use for the unexpected. 'Interesting' shall suffice here."

Spock: "Random chance seems to have operated in our favor."
McCoy: "In plain non-Vulcan English, we've been lucky."
Spock: "I believe I have said that, doctor."

Capt. Kirk: "How did you manage to test it?"
Spock: "It has not been tested."
McCoy: "It's not necessary, Captain. It's simple. Nothing can go wrong."
Capt. Kirk: "Up to now, everything's gone wrong. I want it tested. And now."

Spock: "While there was a chance, I was bound legally and morally to ascertain the Captain's status."
McCoy: "You mean, to make sure he was dead."

Dr. McCoy: "Well your blood pressure is off the scale, if you call that green stuff in your veins blood."
Spock: "The readings are perfectly normal for me, Doctor, and as for my anatomy being different from yours... I am delighted."

[asked what he thinks about a woman naming her baby after McCoy and Kirk]
Spock: "I think you're both going to be insufferably pleased with yourselves for at least a month... sir."

[discussing Kirk's "intuition" with Dr McCoy]
Spock: "I *note* it doctor, without understanding it."

Dr. McCoy: "He's dead, Jim."

McCoy: "Are you out of your Vulcan mind?"

McCoy: "Spock, I don't agree with you at all."
Spock: "That's not unusual, Doctor."

McCoy: "God forbid I should agree with Spock, but he was right."

Spock: "It would be interesting to impress your memory engrams on a computer, doctor. The resulting flood of illogic would be most entertaining."

McCoy: "Medical men are trained in logic."
Spock: "Trained? Judging from you, I would have guessed it was trial and error."

McCoy: "I'm not a magician, Spock; just an old country doctor."
Spock: "Yes. As I always suspected."

[helping a pregnant woman up a steep hill]
McCoy: "I'm a doctor, not an escalator."

McCoy: "I'm a doctor, NOT an engineer."
Scotty: "NOW you're an engineer."

[McCoy has been ordered to help a silicon-based life form]
McCoy: "I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer."

[after healing the silicon creature]
McCoy: "I had them beam me down some thermo-concrete, and I just troweled that over the wound as a bandage. I'm beginning to think I can cure a rainy day."

Spock: "Doctor, you may yet cure the common cold."

McCoy: "How does that Vulcan salute go?"
[Spock demonstrates]
McCoy: "That hurts worse than the uniform."

McCoy: "Sometimes I wish I could land on a planet and say 'Behold. It is I, the Archangel Gabriel.'"
Spock: "I fail to see the humor in that."
McCoy: "Of course you do, Spock. You could never pass for an angel with those ears of yours. But say you landed somewhere with a pitchfork?"

Scotty: "Thank Heavens."
Spock: "Mr. Scott, there was no deity involved. It was my cross-circuiting to B that recovered them."
McCoy: "Well, then thank pitchforks and pointy ears."

McCoy: "Spock, I've found that evil usually triumphs... unless good is very, very careful."

Dr. McCoy: "I won't harm a hair on its head..."

[after coming out of a faint]
Dr. McCoy: "The most common question to ask would be 'Where am I?' I don't think I'll ask it."

Dr. McCoy: "You know, I've convinced myself that this is all in a cordizine hallucination. But, I've decided you're not."

[away team on shuttle discussing there futile situation]
Scotty: "Mr. Spock, a while a go you said that there were always possibilities?"
Spock: "Did I? I might have errored."
McCoy: "Well at least I'll live long enough to hear that."

Scotty: "The best diplomat I know is a fully activated phaser bank."

Scotty: "On Earth, we have a saying: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
Chekov: "I know this saying. It was invented in Russia."

Chekov: "Scotch was invented by a little old lady from Leningrad."

[Sulu is acting psychotically]
Sulu: "I'll protect you, fair maiden."
Uhura: "Sorry, neither."

[aboard the United Space Ship Defiant (NCC-1764)]
Capt. Kirk: "Bones. What is it?"
Bones: "Jim, this ship is dissolving. My hand just passed through a man and a table."

Capt. Kirk: "Matt... Where's your crew?"
Matt Decker: "On the third planet..."
Capt. Kirk: "There is no third planet!"
Matt Decker: "Don't you think I know that? There was! But not anymore! They called me... they begged me for help... four hundred of them... I couldn't... I... I couldn't"
[breaks down]

Matt Decker: "Enterprise to Kirk, Commodore Decker speaking."
Capt. Kirk: "Matt? What's going on? Give me Spock."
Matt Decker: "I'm in command here, Jim."
Capt. Kirk: "What happened to Spock?"
Matt Decker: "Nothing. I assumed command according to regulations, since your first officer was reluctant to take aggressive action."
Capt. Kirk: "You mean YOU'RE the lunatic who's responsible for almost destroying my ship?"
Matt Decker: "You are talking to a SENIOR OFFICER, Kirk."
Capt. Kirk: "Get me Spock."
Matt Decker: "I told you I am in command here, according to every rule in the book, CAPTAIN. If you have anything to say at all, you will say it to ME."
Capt. Kirk: "There's only one thing I want to say to YOU, COMMODORE: GET MY SHIP OUT OF THERE."

Trader: "Four credits."
Cyrano Jones: "Is that an offer or a joke?"
Trader: "That's my offer."
Cyrano Jones: "That's a joke."

[arguing about the tribbles with station manager]
Nilz Baris: "...Kirk I will hold you responsible for this."
Capt. Kirk: "Mr Baris I'll hold you in irons if you don't shut up."

McCoy: "What do you get when you feed a tribble too much?"
Capt. Kirk: "A fat tribble."

Capt. Kirk: "I want to know who put the tribbles in the quadrotritecale and what was in the grain that killed them."

Capt. Kirk: "I want to know what killed these tribbles."
Bones: "I haven't figured out what keeps them alive yet."

[asking about the tribbles]
Capt. Kirk: "Scott, you didn't transport them into space did you?"
Scotty: "Captain Kirk, that'd be inhuman."
Capt. Kirk: "Well, where are they?"
Scotty: "I gave them a very good home, sir."
Capt. Kirk: "WHERE?"
Scotty: "I gave 'em to the Klingons, sir."
Capt. Kirk: "You gave them to the Klingons?"
Scotty: "Aye, sir. Before they went into warp, I transported the whole kit'n kaboodle into their engine room, where they'll be no tribble at all."

Capt. Kirk: "Well, Mr. Spock, if we can't disguise you, we'll have to find some way of... explaining you."
Spock: "That should prove interesting."

[after going back in time, Captain Kirk is forced to explain Spock's strange appearance]
Policeman: "Well?"
Capt. Kirk: "You're a police officer. I recognize the traditional accoutrements."
Spock: "You were saying you'd have no trouble explaining it."
[describing Spock]
Capt. Kirk: "My friend... is obviously Chinese. I see you've noticed the ears; well, they're... easy to explain..."
Spock: "Perhaps the unfortunate accident I had as a child..."
Capt. Kirk: "...the unfortunate accident he had as a child. He caught his head in a mechanical... rice picker... but, fortunately, there was an American, uh, missionary living close by who was a, uh, skilled, uh, plastic surgeon in civilian life who -..."
Policeman: "Alright, alright. Drop those bundles and put your hands on the wall."

Capt. Kirk: "'Let me help.' A hundred years or so from now, I believe, a famous novelist will write a classic using that theme. He'll recommend those three words over 'I love you.'"

Capt. Kirk: "What's the matter Spock, afraid of a car?"
Spock: "Not at all, Captain. It's your *driving* that concerns me."

Spock: "Theft, captain?"
Capt. Kirk: "Well, we'll... steal from the rich and give back to the poor... later."

Spock: "Where would you estimate we belong, Miss Keeler?"
Edith Keeler: "You? At his side, as if you've always been there and always will."

Spock: "Save her, do as your heart tells you to do, and millions will die who did not die before."

Dr. McCoy: "You deliberately stopped me Jim. I could have saved her. Do you realize what you just did?"
Spock: "He knows, Doctor. He knows."

[to the self-professed "god" Apollo]
Capt. Kirk: "We're tired of your phony fireworks."

Capt. Kirk: "This is the Captain of the Enterprise. Our respect for other life forms requires that we give you this... warning. There is one critical item of information that has never been incorporated into the memory banks of any Earth ship. Since the early years of space exploration, Earth vessels have had incorporated into them a substance known as... corbomite. It is a material and a device which prevents attack on us. If any destructive energy touches our vessel, a reverse reaction of equal strength is created, destroying -..."
Balok (voice): "You now have two minutes."
Capt. Kirk: " - DESTROYING the attacker. It may interest you to know that since the initial use of corbomite more than two of our centuries ago, no attacking vessel has survived the attempt. Death has... little meaning to us. If it has none to you then attack us now. We grow annoyed at your foolishness."

Capt. Kirk: "But you'll be trapped as well, forever, at each others' throat, forever through time."
Lazarus: "Is it such a large price to pay for the safety of two universes?"

McCoy: "In this galaxy, there's a mathematical probability of three million Earth-type planets. And in all of the universe, three million million galaxies like this. And in all of that... and perhaps more, only one of each of us."

[inventing a bogus card game as a distraction]
Capt. Kirk: "The odds of getting a royal fizzbin are astronomical. Spock, what are the odds of getting a royal fizzbin?"
Spock: "I have never computed them."

[trying to confuse an android]
Spock: "Logic is a little tweeting bird chirping in a meadow. Logic is a wreath of pretty flowers which smell BAD. Are you sure your circuits are functioning correctly? Your ears are green."

[trying to confuse an android]
Captain Kirk: "Harry lied to you, Norman. Everything Harry says is a lie. Remember that, Norman. *Everything* he says is a lie."
Harcourt Fenton Mudd: "Now I want you to listen to me very carefully, Norman. I'm... lying."
Norman: "You say you are lying, but if everything you say is a lie, then you are telling the truth, but you cannot tell the truth because you always lie... illogical! Illogical! Please explain! You are human; only humans can explain! Illogical!"
Captain Kirk: "I am not programmed to respond in that area."

[speaking to a robot, referring to Uhura]
Spock: "That *unit* is a woman."
Nomad: "A mass of conflicting impulses."

Amanda: "Oh, logic. I am so tired of hearing about your logic."
Spock: "Emotional, isn't she?"
Sarek: "She has always been that way."
Spock: "Indeed. Why did you marry her?"
Sarek: "At the time it seemed like the logical thing to do."

Spock: "You may find that having is not so nearly pleasing a thing as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true."

Sarek: "Tellarites do not argue for any reason; they simply argue."

[Bele and Lokai are aliens who have white and black skin]
Bele: "You've combed the galaxy and all you've come up with is mono-colored trash, bleeding hearts and do-gooders. You're dead, you half-white."
[to the crew]
Lokai: "You useless piles of bland flesh."

Kang: "We need no urging to hate humans, but for the present, only a fool fights in a burning house."

[after his ship has been disabled]
Romulan Commander: "I regret that we meet in this way. You and I are of a kind. In a different reality, I could have called you friend."