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The Lexx: "I am the Lexx. I am the most powerful weapon of destruction in the two universes. I was grown on the Cluster, which is ruled by His Shadow. The food was good there. My captain is Stanley Tweedle. I blow up planets for him."

Kai: "I am Kai, last of the Brunnen-G. Millennia ago, the Brunnen-G led humanity to victory in the war against the Insect civilization. The Time Prophet predicted that I would be the one to destroy the Divine Order and the League of 20,000 Planets. Some day, that will happen... but not today, as today is my day of death. The day our story begins."

Kai: "I killed mothers with their babies. I've killed great philosophers, proud young warriors, and revolutionaries. I've killed the evil, the good, the intelligent, the weak, and the beautiful. I have done this in the service of His Divine Shadow and his predecessors, and I have never once shown any mercy."

Kai: "In the light universe, I have been darkness. Perhaps in the dark zone I will be light."

Kai: "Would you care to join me in watching the supernova? It is a once-in-a-lifetime experience."

Xev Bellringer: "The Brunnen-G discovered eternal life, but they all died. You were the only one to survive."
Kai: "I did not survive."

Kai: "The dead do not poo."

Xev Bellringer: "I want to do it."
Kai: "Do what?"
Xev Bellringer: "'It'. I want to do 'it' with you."
Kai: "I suspect you mean sex."
Xev Bellringer: "Exactly."
Kai: "My sex organ has not functioned for over two thousand years."
Xev Bellringer: "My sex organ has NEVER functioned, so we both have a lot of catching up to do!"
Kai: "Xev, you are clearly desirable and beautiful, but to me, sex is just an intellectual concept."
Xev Bellringer: "I don't care if you're dead! I don't care if you can only appreciate this in your mind! I have a hyperactive libido and I need it NOW! I can't do this alone!"
Kai: "I can't do it at all."
Xev Bellringer: "I hate you."
[walks away]
Xev Bellringer: "I HATE YOU!"

Dr. Kazan: "We were meant to be partners in greatness! Your home will be the entire universe, aboard the Lexx, with me at your side! We'll be the crew, you and me! Be bold, Zev, don't compromise yourself with sentiment! Together we can own the universe! You know this is what you want! You are one of the chosen, we both are! Seize your fate!"
Zev Bellringer: "Can't we just have sex instead?"

[with a voice gradually getting higher]
Mantrid: "I destroyed a Universe! I destroyed a Universe! I destroyed a Universe! I destroyed a Universe! I destroyed a Universe! I destroyed a Universe! I destroyed a Universe! I destroyed a Universe!"
Xev Bellringer: "And we destroyed you!"
[squashes Mantrid under her boot]

Zev Bellringer: "What kind of robot are you?"
790: "I am a robot that wants to live in your underpants."

Xev Bellringer: "You may still only be a head, 790, but you're the best head I ever had."

[watching Xev sleep]
790: "On a branch there is a fruit, plump and ripe for sucking. In a bed there is a body, hot and ripe for..."
[interrupted by a broadcast]

[on Lyekka]
Stanley Tweedle: "She's quite a woman."
Kai: "Quite a plant."
790: "Compared to Xevariffic, she's a two. A two at best!"

790: "Tweedle, you give carbon molecules a bad name!"

790: "If I only had a body, I'd get to be Xev's hunky man. If I only had a body, I'd get to pummel Stan!"

790: "If I only had an arm, I'd be more than just a head. If I only had an arm, I would strangle Tweedle dead!"

Kai: "Are there other heretics with you?"
Zev: "Lots. They are coming up here now and they are heavily armed."
Kai: "No. You are alone."
[falls to his knees]
Stanley: "We worship his divine Shadow and beg his forgiveness."
Zev: "Don't Stan. Die with some dignity."
[gets up]
Stanley: "I the, arch heretic, am reformer Stanley Tweedle. And though only an assistant deputy and back up courier, I did everything I could, I really tried!"

Kai: "You might consider abandoning Lyekka on this planet."
Stanley Tweedle: "But I like her... when she's not hungry anyway."

[Prince's goons grab Stan's nech and hold him at knifepoint]
Stanley Tweedle: "That hurts!"
Prince: "Does it?"
Stanley Tweedle: "Yes, it does! It hurts!"
Prince: "I'm very good with pain."

Thodin: "Remember Erika? The only reason millions, MILLIONS died for that overheated rock was because two Erikans were bio-code specialists for the Cluster. We fought that war, traitor, so I could be here today."
[raises hand]
Thodin: "They died, so I could have the key to the Lexx."

Thodin: "My life means nothing in the great equation. Beauty such as yours must live on."

Bug-Bomb: "Malfunction"
[falls off pipe, spins on rotary thing, bounces off wall]
Bug-Bomb: "Ow!"
[part falls off]
Bug-Bomb: "Bug-bomb lost head!"